No Sanity Required
No Sanity Required is a weekly podcast hosted by Brody Holloway and Snowbird Outfitters. Each week, we engage culture and personal stories with a Gospel-driven perspective. Our mission is to equip the Church to pierce the darkness with the light of Christ by sharing the vision, ideas, and passions God has used to carry us through 26 years of student ministry. Find more content at swoutfitters.com.
No Sanity Required
An Athlete’s Identity Crisis and an Unexpected Pregnancy | Part 2
In this Part 2 episode, Gwyn picks up right where she left off—right after whispering to her teammate, “I’m pregnant.” She shares candidly about the fear, shock, and sense that her life was beginning to unravel.
We follow Gwyn through her hidden months at home and the way Scripture, research, and a refusal to take easy answers slowly shaped her path toward open adoption. She opens up about the doubts and questions that surfaced as her due date approached and the weight of the decisions she had to make.
Now, watching her daughter flourish, Gwyn steps into advocacy with conviction and grace. This episode offers an honest, hope-filled look at unplanned pregnancy, the reality of open adoption, and the courage it takes to choose a future bigger than fear.
An Athlete’s Identity Crisis and an Unexpected Pregnancy | Interview with Gwyn Andrews
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Alrighty, y'all. Welcome back to NSR. This we are just gonna follow right up with the part two of Gwen's story. Um, I really hope you guys have enjoyed the last episode of Gwen. Um, she is just amazing, so well spoken, and she's just a go-getter. I really, really enjoyed this episode and was just encouraged to just hear from her. And yeah, she's amazing, you guys. Um, you if you missed last week, I'll link it in the description below. You're not gonna want to miss uh the part one of this story of Gwen's interview. Um, but yeah, thank you guys so much for tuning in. Love you guys. It's been so encouraging to just hear feedback from all of you guys. Um, but yeah, I hope you enjoy and welcome to No Sanity Required.
SPEAKER_00:Welcome to No Sanity Required from the Ministry of Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters, a podcast about the Bible, culture, and stories from around the globe.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so let's just pick up where we left off.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So I was making the decision: am I gonna go to this appointment? Am I gonna tell my parents I stay for practice, or am I gonna go home and figure out what to do? So the next day we had practice the day before our basketball game. And this girl named Millie, who I was absolutely best friends with, I loved her. She was uh four years older than me. She was a fifth-year senior while I was a freshman. She was married. She just like looked like she was like doing good. She loved the Lord. She was really a good role model for me. I fell in love with her because she reminded me so much of me, but she was like what I wanted to aspire to be. And so I for some reason I felt like I needed to like tell her what was going on. And so in the middle of practice, mind you, we're doing suicides. I whispered to her and I was like, hey, I'm pregnant. And she's like, she just looks at me and she laughs because she doesn't know, like nobody knew I was fornicating, like a grief. And so she was like, Well, let's talk after practice. And I was like, Okay, so she comes to my dorm room with me. I laid out the situation, I told her about the dad and kind of where his head's at and the decision that I'm getting ready to make. And she said, Well, why? Why are you trying to make this decision? And I said, Well, the biggest reason, number one, is because I don't want to lose my scholarship, but also I can't go home and tell my parents this. Like prototypical pastor's daughter, 19 years old, gets pregnant. Great, I'll just be another statistic. Like, I can't do it. And so she sits me down and she was like, Hey, um, she tells me privately, I've had her permission to share this since then, that three months before the season had started, she had had a miscarriage at three months and she was getting ready to tell the coach she couldn't participate, and they were getting ready for this baby, and they were so excited, and then she had a miscarriage. And I remember she started tearing up, and I remember sitting there mourning with her, tears coming to my eyes about how she had lost her baby and how it put it into perspective for me. I'm mourning with this woman who had no control over the life of her baby, and it was taken in in however you want to explain that, the the baby passed away, and now I'm telling her that I'm about to go to do the same thing with my baby by choice, and I'm about to pay for it. Like, how sick is that? And so she, her and Zoe, Zoe kind of like hit me. Zoe had that spine, like we talked about, that Christian spine to clock me when I needed it. Millie just kind of added another layer onto it. So both of these girls really opened my eyes to the fact that this isn't just a clump of cells, this isn't just a happenstance situation. This baby is my baby. I am the mother of this child. I have been chosen to protect and love and care for this baby. And I just couldn't get that out of my head. After they both made me realize that I'm a mom, that's where everything clicked for me because I so desperately wanted to be a mom my whole life. I think most girls do. They they desire that. It was just in the wrong timing for me. And so because it was wrong timing, everything else went out the window. So I don't, a lot of this is fuzzy. I think I compartmentalized. I remember playing my last basketball game, which is so crazy to think about that I was playing a basketball game pregnant. And then I drove home and I didn't go to the appointment. I never canceled it, I just didn't show up. And upon the first, uh, I don't remember the timeline, but I was at home for about a week and a half. I think I had about a two-week break. And I was telling my parents, um, you know, I'm not feeling good. You know, I didn't know that morning sickness was a symptom of being pregnant. So I was being an idiot again and just like getting sick and throwing up and like I couldn't keep my food down and I'm like losing weight at this point. And my parents are like, what's going on? So we thought it was a stomach bug, and then we thought it was food poisoning, and then my mom was like, Well, we might need to take you to the doctor because I think there's something else going on. And so I remember sitting there, it was about three days before I had to go back to tru it for our uh spring season practices. And I remember telling my um telling I was praying to the Lord and I said, God, I can't tell my parents. I need you to tell them. I can't do it. I'm not gonna be able to do it. I tried multiple times. I don't even know how to muster. They didn't know I was having sex, much less at the point where I would be in a position to be hooking up with somebody and now pregnant, still keeping in contact with the father. I told him I wasn't going to the appointment. He was frustrated at that time. And so I get in the car with my mom and my sister. We go to drop off my sister at her friend's house. And I'm like, Mom, mom, I need you to get home. Like, I'm not feeling good. I'm about to throw up again. And she just turns and looks at me and goes, Are you pregnant? And she was kind of joking. And I said, No, what? That's crazy. And I was like, Gwen. So in my head, I'm like, Oh my gosh, the Lord literally just answered my prayer in less than 24 hours, and I just spat in his face again. So guess what? Now I have to tell them. So now I've prayed for an opportunity. I've been given that opportunity. I said no. And then I said I now have to do what I didn't want to do. So we get home and I look at my mom and I just start tearing up and I said, I am. And she said, You're what? And I was like, I am pregnant. And she was like, No, you're not. And so they again, they that was just crazy to them. She was like, She comes and hugs me. She still kind of thinks I'm joking. And she said, Well, who's the dad? And I told her his name, and she said, What's his last name? And I said, I don't know. And so my dad comes in the room and he's like, What's going on? And so my mom tells my dad, and my dad's like, what? And you know, he's like got his coaching voice on, and he's like, How could you let this happen? Like, I don't understand. And to my surprise, this was one of the biggest things I was worried about. I thought, right when I told my parents they were gonna kick me out, uh, that would be it, because I wouldn't have faulted them for doing that. I was at my last straw. I had put them through so much the last couple of years, the way that I was living my life. This was this was to be expected, unfortunately. But they sat there and after, you know, my mom pulled my dad aside and they talked, they they prayed over me and they were like, let's reconvene in the morning and figure out what we're gonna do. So me and my mom stayed up all night talking. I had to unpack everything, like from high school on, everything I had involved in, everything I had participated in when I was vaping, when I had tried weed, like all the things that I had done, I I laid it out for them, which you would think would be awful, but it was the most like it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Like I'm I'm sad that they're disappointed in me, but I feel seen now because I'm not hiding behind all of this sin. And so me and my mom and my dad, we had kind of come to this conclusion that I was gonna go back. I would hopefully be skinny enough to finish out the season. Nobody would know. In the winter, I would wear bigger outfits, and then in May, when I would come home, I would tell my coach, hey, I'm not gonna be coming back to tru it, and then I would give birth in August and we'll figure it out from there, which is a really bad plan, but you don't know what you're gonna do. You have 72 hours to figure it out. So we're sitting there and my mom's like go, she has the mother brain, and she's like, what if she has a complication? What if she gets hit in basketball? And then now we have a miscarriage, like we're putting this baby up to be in a situation where it's just not safe. It's not safe for me, it's not safe for the baby. If I go into labor and nobody knows I'm pregnant, that's like that's gonna be crazy and traumatizing for everybody involved, not just me. So we decide that we're gonna go up there and tell my coach that I'm not gonna be on the team any longer. And I knew my coach, it was big, big, big for him to be a part of the team and kind of to like like play your part, play your part, and if you can't play your part, somebody else will. So I kind of played on that. I went up, me and my mom, we got in the car, we drove out there the day that I was supposed to have practice to reconvene back on campus. I text my coach, I said, Hey, can I meet with you before practice starts? So we we drive up there, I sit down with him. Again, I'm like still trying not to like throw up in his office. It was just an awful experience. I look pale, drained, I'm skinnier than when I left. And I sat him down and I said, Hey coach, I uh I really appreciated the time that I've spent here. And I am so thankful for the opportunity to play college basketball with you, but I don't think that I'm gonna be able to contribute to the team in the way that you want to see. And I think that my position would be better filled by somebody who can give you what you're looking for. So I kind of tried to make him feel like I was doing him a favor, you know. And he was like, All right, well, I, you know, I hate to hear that, but he was kind of getting used to it because a couple girls had left for injuries, other girls had transferred. It's normal, like you know, it's normal for people to be in and out of the athletic arena in in sports in college. And I got up from the meeting and he said, Well, all I'd love to still see you around campus. And I was like, Well, I'm not coming back to True It. I'm going home. And that was kind of the end of our conversation. And I walked downstairs and he meant he went and met with the team on the court, and everybody watched me as I walked to the locker room and I gathered all my stuff up and I didn't say anything to any of my teammates. Three of them obviously knew what was going on. Um, and I I gathered my stuff and I walked back out to the car, and me and my mom drove, packed up my dorm, and we left. Didn't tell my roommate why I was disappearing. Then I my team started texting me and saying after practice, we're so glad we got to meet you and it's been great. Like, we hope that everything works out. And I'm just like in a I'm in a three-hour car ride with my mom. We're not really speaking, and I'm getting text messages from my former teammates and coaches about how they're gonna miss me, and they just think I'm taking a different direction in life when I am literally pregnant. Like it is, it is the most out-of-body surreal experience. It was so disheartening. It was so sad to think that I always joke that there needs to be an AA class for students who played sports their whole lives, and then like the next day they wake up and it's gone. Because there is an identity crisis there where I had from first grade on committed my entire life to playing on this team. My life goals had been fulfilled in in one night because of my sin and rebellion. It all disappeared and was all taken from me, or I gave it up, for lack of a better word. So we drive home and we unload my stuff and we're all just kind of sitting there like, what are we gonna do? Well, still reflecting on self-image. I told my parents, I do not want anybody to know. Again, I'm a pastor's daughter, this whole town knows me, my whole high school, everybody's aware of who we are and what we do. I do not want anybody to know I'm pregnant. Do not tell anybody, like, please, for the love of everything, until I can figure out what I'm gonna do. I had decided, you know, in the back of my head, I was gonna go move to Florida. I love the beach, move to Florida, I'll raise my son or daughter, and we'll just like figure it out from there. Maybe I'll meet a nice guy who wants to be a stepdad. Like, I just kind of accepted. I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. My life is gonna look that of a single mother, and that's it. And so that's kind of how I operated. And my dad hooked me up with an online counselor through a church in Atlanta, and I was so against like talking about my problems because I thought I had it all figured out, a little bit of narcissistic tendency. I was just like, I don't need anybody to tell me what I'm thinking and feeling. I know it. It's just I need to implement it. So from the very first uh Zoom meeting I had with her, I looked at her and I was like, hey, you can try to talk to me and we can sit here for 55 minutes and you can get paid, but I'm not gonna open up to you. Like I have nothing to talk to you about. My dad has me here. So if you want to talk, we can, but like it's you know, if you just want to like get off and get paid, like that works too, because I'm not here to talk to you. Well, obviously that's not how it went. She was actually a blessing to me, but just just just to show my mentality in those times. And so eventually my parents were like, we I had kept in contact with um my daughter's father, and I had let him know, hey, I'm home now. I've told my parents, I think it's time you tell your parents. So eventually he mustered up the strength to tell his parents. I don't really know what that looked like. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it was for them. It's almost an they're out of sight, out of mind. I had so much anger and resentment towards him for so many reasons, the way that he kind of acted during the pregnancy and just the perpetual like nagging of what's going on, how's everything going, like wanting to see pictures of the bump. And I realized later on, after everything put into perspective, he didn't know me either. You know, like the same way I didn't know him, he didn't know me. I could have been lying about being pregnant. I could have been lying about him being the dad. Like he had cause for concern, and I didn't realize that until later of like we were both in such a terrible, terrible situation. So eventually, fast forward, you know, I'm doing online counseling. Well, my mom has a friend who works on the Board of Covenant Care Adoptions. And this this lady, her name's Joe Betsy, she's an amazing lady. She kind of is like my adopted grandma. She told my mom, hey, have Gwen come in and talk to some of the birth counselors just to kind of like assess where she's at and have her walk through her emotions. And I went in, you know, just to appease my mom. Because I'm like, at this point, what else could I do to this point? My parents, the least I could do is go meet with this lady. Again, still just not in the mindset of wanting to have conversation with people. And this lady said, you know, we are here to support women who find themselves in unfortunate situations, and we're gonna walk with you through your pregnancy, whether you decide to do adoption or not. And so immediately I'm like, great, I get to use y'all, your resources and your finances after I give birth to this baby. All I've got to do is upkeep this relationship. So it's still very transactional on my end. And I thought adoption was dirty and bad and secret and where you get rid of something you don't want. That's how I viewed adoption at that time. I didn't have a very good worldview of it. And so I was like, I'm not doing this. So I go home the next couple months. I really, really, really think that the we we all know God's timing is so intentional, but the way that my heart was hardened from the moment that I came home to a couple months later in my pregnancy, of it was almost as if I was at a spot where I had to fully surrender my life. There wasn't a time where I was like, God, will you please forgive me of my sins that come into my heart? But it was a perpetual overtime of every morning waking up and doing my quiet time because what else am I gonna do? I'm living at home. Nobody knows. My team doesn't know what I'm doing, my old friends don't know what I'm doing, and my people at home don't know what I'm doing. I just literally, like Bertie said, I had disappeared from the outside world. And I'm like, well, the very least I could do is read this book that everybody's claiming helps their lives. Like, so I'm doing my quiet times, and this is where I really start to get into my dad loves podcasts. And so I'm like, well, dad, can I have a couple podcasts to listen to? Because I'm like trying to appease my dad, like keep that relationship. And so I start listening to these political podcasts, and I fell in love with this. I was eating it up. I started reading books, which I hated doing before. And so 24-7, my day looks like waking up eating as much eggs as I can because uh eggs were my my food of choice. I guess you wanted some protein, um, reading my my quiet time, listening to a sermon, or just a random sermon I could find. And then the rest of the day is going to be hardcore reading, studying, podcast, learning. I don't know where that came from because I had hated doing that prior, but I truly just fell in love with my faith, with the Lord and the the ties between culture and society. And I wanted to know for myself, it was a lot of self-reflection. How did I, who, as somebody that grew up in the church, number one, end up in this situation, number two, almost get an abortion, not really know what abortion was. And then number three, it took like it took this experience to get me to finally say, All right, Lord, you can have my life. Like it shouldn't be like that, you know. And I know that we're we're we're we're in a fallen world and we have sinful nature, but the way that my life had was laid out, God had given me everything I needed to succeed, and I just kept spitting it back in his face. So I wanted to understand that. And so I started reading a book, and in the book, the first chapter, it talks about the nuclear family and how important it is to have a mom and a dad. And these statistics, it was primarily focusing on the black community, but the the numbers were so high that I knew for any other ethnicity, it had to be fairly the same, like relatively the same. And it started talking about the the things that you were putting your child to be more susceptible to just by being a single mother, even if you have the finances, even if you have the community, even if this is gonna be the best life this baby will ever have, solely by the fact of me being a single mother, these are the things that my child is gonna be more susceptible to. And I was like, this can't possibly be reality. And so I dug more into it. This is where I found Charlie Kirk and Ali Bestucki and all these influential people. And the more that I listened to these people, the more they just kept honing in on almost all the cultural issues we face right now, biblical issues, spiritual issues, are because of the nuclear family is being broken down. So I was like, I cannot put my daughter in this position. And I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't know, I was like, there's just gotta be another option here. Well, I remembered, you know, the adoption option. And so again, I'm still in communication with her dad this whole time. We're going through, I'm like talking him through, like, hey, I'm considering adoption. I think that, you know, I was like, do you want to get married? And he's like, no, we can't do that. And I was like, okay, so now here's our next option. And so I uh I start meeting with this counselor more and more. I'm learning about the process. My heart is being a little more softened. I'm understanding that the way the adoption was back then is not how we do it today, and that there are a lot of changes that are taking place to make it be more beneficial to the child. And there is a couple, Jeremy and Sharon, who Jeremy's a pastor at Southside, and Sharon was one of my assistant basketball coaches. I grew up with them. Uh, they're like my aunt and uncle. And my parents invited them over and they saw me and my belly, and my parents made me sit down with them and tell them what was going on. And so I was so angry and I sat there and I was like, I'm pregnant. And I that was it. And and Sharon said, Well, what are y'all gonna do? And I was like, I don't know. My parents are thinking adoption, but I don't want to do that. I'm not letting somebody else raise my baby. And so I got up from that conversation, I walked off, everybody's tearing up. I'm stone cold because you're not stone cold, like absolutely not, you're not gonna see me cry. I walk off and I felt, I felt God like kind of like hit me in the chest. Like, you seriously think this is your baby? Like, this is this is my baby. Like, I have given you this baby, but this is my child first before it's ever been your child. And for you to sit there and proclaim what you're gonna do without confiding in me first, like, no, so let's redirect this. And so I go back in and I'm like praying and I'm still doing my quiet times. And the more and more that I researched and I learned, and my heart was softened, the more I just felt God speaking to me and saying, you know, like, hey, adoption, adoption, adoption. And so I learn more about it. And eventually I go to my mom and dad and I say, I think I'm gonna move forward with this plan. And so we get the father on board. You know, he was apprehensive at first because it's not culturally relevant for me. It's definitely not for him. Like, they don't do that down there in Argentina, like that is not a thing for him. And so we kind of walked him through it, and I I learned more about it. And uh, there is just something so like beautiful and spiritual about adoption. We are adopted into the kingdom of heaven. There's so many relations to adoption in the Bible that I think the church completely misses. The fact that Joseph had to adopt Jesus, he wasn't his blood, he didn't have to be there, he didn't have to partake in that. The fact that Jesus entered into the world through Mary, who was young, who wasn't ready, who wasn't financially stable, and the Lord still used that situation for good. Not that my situation even compares, but there are just so many correlations to like we are adopted into the family of God, and adoption should never be a dirty word. And for some reason it was, and so I'm rambling, but I learned more about adoption and I eventually made a commitment to the agency that I wanted to move forward, and I was given me and her dad had agreed that we wanted to do a family that hadn't um had an opportunity to have kids. And so we were given five books, which are profiles of families who've been with the agency. They are vetted, they are Christian, they have house checks, like everything about these people. You know, the agency has done their due diligence to make sure this is going to be a safe, welcoming, loving environment for this family. And so they lay out these books, and it was it was so it's such a crazy, I can't even explain being in a situation where I'm sitting there, I'm six months pregnant, and I'm looking at books to pick the family that I'm about to give my child to. Like when you look at that on its face, there's no other explanation than the Holy Spirit and the Word of God because that is such a foreign concept. That's not normal, you know, and so that's it just shows me more, and hopefully I can show everybody else like how much the Holy Spirit and my faith played a part in this decision, because that is not something that you should just like be able to do on a whim, is just pick a book of people and say, Oh, here you go, here's my baby. And so I'm there's these three couples, they all are single, unable to have kids, but there were little things like this family had a golden retriever and I'm allergic to dogs, so I'm worried she might be. This family's in Metro Atlanta. I don't want her growing up in the city. This family has a mom that teaches ballerina. Well, I want to make sure she's in basketball because both her parents are athletes, so you best believe she's gonna have a ball in her hand. So I'm like, okay, not these people. And so I get down to these two books. Well, these people, they had adopted numerous, numerous kids, and so I was like, well, they're they're taken care of when it they we we don't need them. Well, I get to this last book, and I had initially not worried about this book. Well, I I look at it and it is just immediately. I mean, I when I've never in my life, I've felt tugs and like convictions. I've never in my life felt when people would say the Lord spoke to me. And I didn't hear a voice, but it was literally like a light was on this family, and it was like, this is it, this is the family. And so I'm looking at them and I see they've got, you know, a beautiful blue house with a front porch, and in the back is an American flag. So immediately I'm like, oh, they're they love America, like, let's go. So I open it up, and on the first page of each profile is a letter that each family writes to the birth moms. All birth moms read the same letter. And the very first sentence of this says, Whether you decide to do an open adoption or to parent your baby, we're so thankful that you chose life. And I remember thinking, how in the world? Again, I know multiple mothers have been in my situation and have read this sentence, but this sentence that they wrote on this book 10 years ago is specifically speaking to me in my situation. So I read more about their family, I read about their their vacations and the and their grandparents, and I just see like this is the ideal family that I would choose if I was to get married right now and lay out a life. This is what it would look like. And so I just knew this is the family. So I handed it to the birth counselor. I was like, I want them. Do not let any other birth mom look at that book. Nobody else is getting them, they are my family. And so I talked with the dad and I kind of showed him all the books, and eventually me and him both agreed that would be the book. So uh we worked together through this whole process. And I asked my birth counselor, please tell them. Um this is about six months in, please tell them that they're getting a baby. And they can't because nine out of ten birth moms change their mind after the baby is born. And so she didn't want to give this family false hope. And she still thinks that I don't know what I'm gonna do. But once I made that commitment to the agency, I knew there was no way I was changing my mind because it's not about me, it's about what is best for my daughter. The best situation for her is to be in a two-parent Christian household with people that are ready and equipped to have a child, and at the center of this family is Christ. And while I would have been a great mom and her dad would have been, it would have been fun with her dad being able to visit her and my family growing up with her, that is not how the Lord has envisioned a family to look like. And so while this isn't a perfect solution, it is a good solution to a broken situation.
SPEAKER_01:And so Wait, when you say change their mind, do you mean they just want to keep the baby when like birthday?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, so yeah, so I can get into that more, but they have 72 hours legally to change their mind after the baby's born. Okay. And so into those 72 hours, 90% of mothers decide to parent. Okay. Um, and so after I put them on hold, me and my mom went to Texas for a month, the seventh month of my um pregnancy, so I could be out and about and like actually be a part of civilization. We have tons of family that live in Texas. And so I remember going out in Texas, and me and my mom were at this gas station. And this was my very first time walking around in public with my belly. Wow. It was I remember it vividly. There was this black woman at the counter of this gas station, and she goes, How far along are you? And I didn't, I just was like doing my own thing. And my mom was like, Hey, she asked you a question. I forgot that people could see that I was pregnant because I'd been in secrecy for so long. I didn't realize that other people can see this too. And so I looked at her, I was like, Oh, I'm seven months. She's like, Is it a boy or a girl? And I was like, Oh, it's a girl, and she's like, Congrats, and I was like, Congratulations. Like, you have no idea what I'm going through right now. And so it just put so much into perspective of you don't ever know what somebody's going through. Like, this woman is congratulating me on the hardest thing that I've ever been a part of. And although I am so thankful now looking back that this is the the turn that my life took, like, congrats, what in the world? And so I we we had such a hard time being in Texas with our family because I think for my family, and I say this, I say this lightly because I don't, it might sound I don't want to, I don't want to assume, but a lot of my family history comes from broken households, not two parent households, a lot of marriages in and out on both sides, my mom and my dad. And so I think for my extended family, me choosing adoption meant me saying you did the wrong thing because my dad was born at a young age, 16, with his mom. She wasn't married, a lot of marriages, a lot of husbands in and out. Same thing with my mom. Her parents had experienced a divorce when she was in college, and so I think to Mike's and family, I said, you did it wrong. And so there was a little bit of resentment there. There was so much like explaining of, hey, this is why I'm doing this, this is why it's a good idea. No, you can't take this baby. Like I had family members offering to parent the baby. Well, let's just keep her in the family still. Like, let's just make sure that it was like a very uh selfish perspective of, well, we want to be able to see her. Well, what about us? And I'm like, well, you don't even take the time to see me, so why am I gonna go out of my way to make sure that you can see your grandkid, you know? And so not my parents, but like extended family. And so I say that to say that even in being so sure of the decision that I was gonna make, I still was um like debating and arguing and rationalizing this with my family members. Like when you are following in accordance with the Lord's will, it's not gonna be easy. Even your own family is gonna push against that because people don't understand unless they feel that conviction too. And so eventually we leave Texas. I come home. I go in, I'm due on August 12th. I this this could be a whole nother episode talking about the uh the malpractices in the medical industry under um pregnancies. But, anyways, I'm due on August 12th. I go in August 18th, so I'm about 40 weeks in one day. And I go into labor and I wanted to do a natural birth. I was like, my mom did three, like, my mom's not stronger than me. I'm gonna do a natural birth too. And so I got up to eight centimeters and I was like, hey, I'm ready to push. Like, let's go. And they were like, you're not dilated enough to push. And I was like, okay, well, what do we do? Like, this is my first time. I don't know. But it was cool because the lady that was delivering my daughter was um also delivered my sister.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:And so she was very familiar. So a lot of people probably wonder, like, have questions about the OB GYN situation. So we went into Macon, which is about 45 minutes uh, I believe, north of Warner Robbins. Is that right? Yeah. So we went to a place in Macon. We had shared with this lady who went to our church, delivered my sister, my situation. She had experience with her family uh doing adoption as well. So she's very supportive. So when I would go to my OB appointments, I would go around the back hallway. They would clear out the hall to make sure nobody was there. I would go into the room, they would shut the door, and then they'd let everything proceed. Because we had so many people from our church going to the same place. We didn't want anybody to know. So my records, they would have my name covered, they wouldn't announce my name out there. I would always go in through the back. So even in those, it was a very isolating like imagine I'm 19, I'm walking into this OBGYN appointment with by myself because my family's busy. I've like got my shades on, a hat, like trying to make sure I don't run into a church member on the way through the back doors. I gotta call my OB, tell her that I'm here. It was just, yeah, people don't under, and again, I I I'm not a victim to this situation because I I created this, but people don't understand the extent that we as a family went through to get to this point. So, anyways, so I'm going into labor and my midwife said, Hey, you know, you can either do a C-section or we can get you an epidural because your daughter's stuck in your birth canal. You're like, I just I guess I wasn't it wasn't working. And so I asked her if she could step out of the room for a second. And I talked to my mom because I was so scared of getting an epidural because I had read so much about like I wanted to get back into basketball immediately. And I had read how epidurals can delay your healing and how you know it could partially not work or it could mess up your spine or just a lot of things surrounding that. And I was like, mom, mom, I can't, I don't want a C-section. That sounds awful. I know sometimes it has to happen, but I just didn't want that. But I also didn't want epidural, so I had to figure out what to do. I I decided to cave and get the epidural. Um, and immediately I like like relaxed and my body was able to go into labor fully. And I went in to the hospital at like 12 p.m. or 12 a.m. that night, and then I gave birth at 11 a.m. that morning. So it was like very quick turnaround of my birth, my labor. Well, you know, my my aunt Carrie was there with us, my mom was there, my dad came in, and my best friend Jaden, who was there when I found out that I was pregnant, actually was doing clinical rounds at the same hospital. And so she was able to come in and meet my daughter. And I had jokingly um asked my midwife and all the nurses, like, what should I name her? Because me and her dad decided we didn't want to name her because we knew she'd be renamed with her new family. And they said, Oh, name her Sophia, because my midwife, who had a sister, had lost a baby named Sophia. And so I was like, Okay, so I named her Sophia Kaylee Andrews. My middle name was still Kaylee, or my middle name's Kaylee, so she had the name. So I spent three days in the hospital with her. I got to feed her, my family came to see her, um, my nana came. People that knew what was going on were able to come in and see her. And then on the last day at the hospital, my um the agency came in, my birth counselor and another lady, and I had to sign papers terminating my rights to my daughter while I'm holding her in my hands. And so that was a really hard experience. And so uh it it seems very like superficial, but when you realize like I am signing like the chemical, the way that the Lord has made our bodies to attach to these babies, you won't understand until you've experienced it. And so the attachment that I had felt to her throughout the pregnancy, I'd compartmentalized because I knew eventually I'd be parting with her. But then after she was born and feeding her and like hearing her cry and getting to change her diaper, and like to the extent that I was even, I didn't sleep while I was in the hospital because to me, sleeping was time lost with her. So I stayed up for 72 hours the whole time, even when she was sleeping, I was awake because I didn't want to lose any second with her. So I signed these papers. She left the hospital with my birth counselor, I left the hospital with my mom. I went home and we just grieved in the best way that we knew how. And the next 72 hours, so after I signed that paper, I terminated my rights and I said, I will move forward with revocation. The revocation period is the 72 hours that you were legally allowed to change your mind before your rights as a parent are officially terminated by the state. So for the 72 hours, I was able to see her from 7 p.m. 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. The interesting thing with the agency, we were kind of their first case because a lot of the birth moms, unfortunately, are in uh uh sexual assault situations or drug addiction or trafficking or just really bad situations where they just want to get the baby out, get the baby to help, and then leave it. Well, we were like, no, we want as much time as we can get with this baby. And so they kind of had to figure out like, what are the rules around letting this family see her? And they knew I wasn't gonna change my mind. So I saw her for the next 72 hours. We did a family photo shoot. My brother took photos of me and Sophia. Um, we had a lot of the staff come over that we had shared that we were going through. We celebrated my 21st birthday or my 20th birthday because our birthdays were three days apart. And so it was a really, really like cool experience. Like this, the the grace that God had over that time with me and her, just allowing me to soak up everything and kind of prepare my heart also to know that eventually we would be giving her up for adoption or placing her, I should say. Um, but the revocation period was like those are the three hardest days of my life because I'm spending the whole day with my daughter, excited, having a good time, and then she leaves, and then I'm sitting there by myself, like I kind of kept it together for my family, but I would go on our back porch and I would just sit there and pray and be like, God, am like, am I making the right decision? Like, I'm giving my child up. Like, how can that make any sense, you know? And I uh every time, it's so funny because every time I would pray and be like, God, I can be like I'm like, I'm like bargaining with the Lord. I'm like, I'm gonna be a good mom, like I'm sure I'll get married eventually, and then she'll have a dad, and then like it's fine, and it'll be good, and I'll be able to take care of her. And he kept bringing back to my brain or my mind, you're not doing this for you, you're doing this for her. Because every situation that kept me from doing adoption was about me and what would be best for me and not best for her. And so eventually uh my time came to an end. But what's cool about it is I don't know the specific time frame, but let's say three days before the revocation had ended, again, this family still doesn't know that I've chosen them. So they get a call like 24 hours, and they're like, hey, you have a baby. So the mom calls the adoption agency. Again, they've been waiting 10 years between foster care and miscarriage and adoption. They had been waiting for another another child. She said, Hey, you know, we have this opportunity to foster this little boy. We just want to know if any birth mom has even remotely shown interest in our book, because if not, we're gonna take this little boy in. And my birth counselor was like, I can't tell you anything, but do not take that little boy. And so they told the foster, I don't know how the foster care system works, but they told them, like, unfortunately, we can't take this baby. And so now they kind of got the prerequisite, like, hey, start getting it together. So they got a crib together, they got all this stuff together, and then 72 hours later, they were handed a baby. And I got to see a video of my daughter being placed in the arms of her parents for the first time. And it was just so there, you would think it's a sad situation, but there was so much overwhelming joy. And redemption is the word that I like to use for my story because or the Lord's story, because there's so much redemption in my experience, in my daughter's life, in this family's life. And the funny thing was we went, me and my mom eventually her name was changed. Um, but they kept Kaylee as her middle name. And so me and my mom were at Wendy's. Wendy's plays a big part in my story, which I don't know why. I'm I love burgers, but so we're at Wendy's the day that uh Sophia gets placed with a family, and we're watching this video and we're crying, and we look up what the name Sophia meant. And Sophia means wisdom. And I knew that it was no coincidence that in the three days that I needed the most wisdom in my entire life to make sure that I could follow through with in accordance with what I believe the Lord was calling me to do, that my daughter's name was wisdom. And so uh what open adoption, I want to be clear that it we we did open adoption. So open adoption is legally twice a year. The family and me get to have a shared time. We call it a visit where I get time to get to know them, they get to know me, and then I get to play with my daughter or see her or whatever. Well, we kind of removed the agency within a month. So she was placed in August. By September, we already had our first visit. It's supposed to be every six months. They reached out, they were like, hey, we want to meet this family ASAP. And we were like, we would love to meet y'all too. Like, let's do it. Because again, I've never met them. I just know them from their book in a one video I saw.
SPEAKER_04:Did they know anything about you?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, they know as much, they know that I played basketball, that they know about the dad a little bit, and they know that I'm a pastor's daughter. And that was pretty much it. They didn't know about my story, about what I had gone through. They didn't know that if I had a family that was intact or that was broken. They didn't know any, like not a lot of details, right? So we meet, and usually for these visits, the family has an advocate, which is the person that makes sure they're qualified to have a baby, and then the birth mom has her counselor. And so it was my family, their family, and then the two people. Well, that was probably the second to last visit that we would have where the covenant care people would be with us because eventually we immediately created a relationship with them. And so now we are at a spot where like I just saw her last Sunday and she's two, and I see her, you know, February and August legally, but then we do Mother's Day, and I went to her baby dedication at their church, and I've met her family, and we do birthdays and Christmas, and it's just like I'm a fun aunt. And obviously, that's not like picture perfect, but open adoption. I get to watch my daughter grow up and I get to play a part in that instead of her calling me when she's 18 and saying, Hey, are you my mom? Yeah, because her worldview is being shaped early on, she will understand adoption is not dirty or bad. You were not given away. Your mom and dad sacrificed their pain and discomfort to put you in the best situation possible for your like the most prosperity and fruitful life that you could have. So she'll grow up knowing that. She'll grow up knowing me and her dad. He gets equal access visits, grandparents, everything. Um, and like we have just created this amazing situation where Aunt Carrie reminded me so amazingly that I didn't lose my daughter, I gained a whole new family because they have played such a pivotal role in my life moving forward. And I could call them right now and be like, hey, can I drive up there and see her? And they're like, Yeah. And that's not going to be for every situation, that's not going to be for every open adoption, but for this specifically, it has been so amazing and redemptive. And not that my goal in life was to get back to basketball or to get back to being a college student, but my life today looks the same in a sense that it did prior to getting pregnant. Because I know that's a lot of what women advocate for abortion is well, my life's gonna blow up. My life, I'm gonna lose my life. You're not, it's gonna be better than you ever realized whether you are parenting or you do an open adoption plan or whatever, whatever that looks like for you. There is no there is no situation in the world where a child will ruin whatever you think you have going for you. And so yeah, I can kind of leave it there and let y'all ask any questions that you have.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that last two statements, both your personal statement of that your life is you know, richer and fuller, and and then to follow that by saying there's not a situation where a child is gonna mess your life up. If you and if you choose to not let that be the case. Um it is a story of redemption, and it is a gospel parallel. It's um it's just you know the the adoption motif in scripture is very personal to me, um because of my family dynamic, um, both with multiple sisters and then with multiple children. And um and I've watched uh I've watched the Lord take very hard and difficult situations personally and and bring about a greater good. And this past summer our teaching focus at Snowbird was his glory, our good. This is one of those stories God is being glorified in this little girl's life, and one day she's gonna profess faith in Jesus, you know, and she's gonna tell this story, and I love what you said about um you're not you're not gonna get a phone call from an 18-year-old young woman saying, Are you my mom? Yeah, she knows you and you know her, and and and what praise the Lord for this couple that is bigger than this situation, you know. It's like they're that's something that I think uh that little and I have really have really been uh we've thought a lot about, but our situation is very different, um, because the the biological mother passed away. And but in our situation, uh we have every plan to to travel and meet family, but it's an international situation. And I think a lot of people are scared to death of their kid that they've adopted, being connected to their biological family. And I learned from my mom that you don't have to be scared of that if God's the one writing the story. One of my sisters is very connected to her biological mother. The other one, they come from the same biological mother, the other one won't really have anything to do with her. Um, but my my mom was always so generous with that. And anyway, uh my you know, I just think of this couple, what a blessing that the Lord brought them into your life.
SPEAKER_03:And yeah, oh they I mean, truthfully, they have been even little things like um I if I want if I was married, I want to homeschool. They homeschool their kids. They I this is great. I don't know if I told you this. Um, I didn't want any vaccines. I said no vaccines while she's in the hospital. Once I signed my um rights away, she now belonged to the state. And so the state had to follow their calendar of vaccines. Well, this family had also advocated to the agency after the mom vaxes her, whatever, once she belongs to the state, we don't want her to get any vaccines. So both parties had consented to no vaccines. So ultimately she didn't get one shot. And so it was little things like that that I didn't know that I didn't read about that, but the Lord like divinely brought those together to where we now get to, in my opinion, have the healthiest baby that we could possibly have. Yeah. Like I couldn't breastfeed her, obviously. They gave her goat milk, uh she didn't have to do formula, and so there's just so many little things that mattered so much to me as I grew more understanding of like history and uh like society and culture and all these things that we're given that just aren't really good for our health and nature and biology. And this family like is on the exact same wavelength as me, and I didn't even know that. And so that was a big part too of how we we connected and we meshed so quickly was because we're like, okay, we we're cut from the same cloth. I just unfortunately took a detour and then got back, you know, got back on track.
SPEAKER_01:So also like praise the Lord for this family, like we've been saying, but also kind of what Bertie was saying like that takes a humble family absolute have like open communication with you because how quickly it could be to be like, well, no, like she's our daughter, like you've we're raising her. Yeah, but I love that, like just their humbleness to let you in.
SPEAKER_04:And they got uh they got a pile of kids.
SPEAKER_03:They've got three. Okay, yeah, three. So she's she's got three older siblings. Um, even two, like when I was at their house on Sunday, like we just go over to their house, my whole family. We have lunch, we brought my brother's girlfriend with us so she could meet her for the first time. And um, they'll probably came to my testimony when I shared my testimony for the first time publicly to my congregation back home last March, March 2024. They came to that. Everybody got to meet them, everybody got to meet Sophia. But even like if Sophia will say, Um, mom, mom, her mom will look at me and go, which one of us is she talking to? And so she just like there's no competition at all. And that's it's interesting that you brought that up because I'm sitting here thinking, like, is that a thing? I've never I didn't even know that was a thing. Yeah, because they do such a good job of not like that's not, it's just not. And so, yeah. About the father of Sophia, is he a believer? So this, I'm glad you brought this up because this is something I definitely wanted to hit on. He was, I believe, professing Catholic at the time, didn't really have faith. Um, while I was pregnant and we kind of worked through while we were working through everything, I I I kept telling him the reason I feel called to do these things is because the Lord this, the Lord that, God this, God that, the Bible says he just didn't really understand that at the time. Well, eventually he got baptized uh with his soccer team at the school, and then he went home in Argentina, and I believe that he got baptized again. And so now he is like, I like to say that this situation saved three lives. My daughter's life and mine and his life both were saved by grace through faith. Yeah. And not that getting baptized saves you, but like his heart posture changed and he wanted to make like do that act. And so now he, as far as I understand and the communication I've had with him, is living his life for the Lord. He fully and wholeheartedly recognizes that Sophia is what saved his life. And he, like after she was born, he sent me this long text just like apologizing for everything and saying that he's so thankful that I stuck with it, and I apologized to him and told him, I'm sorry for being angry with you. I didn't know who you were. I I was angry that you were trying to play a part in this, even though you are half of part of this, and so there's just been so much uh forgiveness and redemption that's come through this situation.
SPEAKER_01:And even not to say that the Lord couldn't use this if you did go through with terminating the the baby, your child, but also it kind of goes back to what we were saying, like that spine, yeah, like having that spine and you just being so obedient and so open about that, and just saying, like, hey, this is what scripture says, this is what the Lord is calling me to do, and being so open with him. I like the Lord clearly used that. Absolutely. So praise the Lord for your obedience, and uh yeah, it's really cool. Thank you. I really love your story. That's awesome. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:I w uh I want to say one thing. Um, we're we're about to wrap up here. Um, I want to hear kind of update on life from you. Okay. Like just what's going on, what where you see the Lord taking you, just as a young woman that's got purpose and vision and a calling. And um, but I want to say to um I always try to do this, even when I speak to abortion and adoption and parenting and um if there's like there's if if there's a mom, there will be moms who listen to this who have had abortions. If I I can write off the top of my head know of three like that. And I just want to remind you, your redemption story will look different than this story. But there's there's there's no God's grace is bottomless. What he's able to redeem um may not look the same. Um but but the Lord has redemption, and um, and so I just I want to say that I don't I don't want this to be a story that that brings guilt or shame where the Lord would bring redemption. But that being said, I want this to be a message for that teenage pregnancy or that young single gal that's pr that's pregnant. I want you to that that hears this or our listeners that that push this or send this episode, this story to somebody. This baby is worth fighting for. Yes. And and there's red it might right now seem like there's no way. I mean, you spent six months holed up in your parents' house. You talk about a quarantine, yeah. You're losing your mind. I mean, uh, you know, we we all have a sense of what was it like during COVID to be stuck in the house for a couple weeks. For me, I I made it a we made it about a week, and I'm like, we gotta do something. You know, for six months you were it was you, and and and those walls were squeezing, and but but we see the redemption in hindsight. Our hindsight is still not even as perfect as God's foresight. Yes, and so whatever you're going a person might be going through, there's redemption. Trust the Lord, and and um I hope that this story is inspiring because this um repeatedly Gwen said this is not about me. Yes, and I want people to hear this story is a bigger story than one, two, three people or those of us that are listening to it. It's a God story, and um, and so the Lord will bring redemption in any situation. I'm so thankful for that, and I'm so confident of that. And I'll tell you this it's another conversation for another day, but the flip side of it is um if you're considering adoption, give me a call. You better buckle up because it is it is a hard, hard path forward to raise children, and and I know it, and we're living it, and it is difficult, it is not easy, it is not it is not don't romanticize it. What when you when you when God calls you to be the parents that adopt, he's calling you to something that is you can't even imagine how difficult it's gonna be. But also, it's it's it's a story of redemption.
SPEAKER_05:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Um so anyway, yeah, I'd love to hear what what are you doing? Uh you know, you're involved in turning point USA. Uh I call you're one of the first people I text when I found out Charlie Kirk had been shot. Yep. Um I'm sure your phone blew up by people like me. But um so you're you're still involved with turning point. Yeah. Um you've you're wrapping up your degree.
SPEAKER_03:Yep. Yeah, I'm at the University of West Georgia right now. I'm the founder and president of Turning Point USA chapter on our campus and the students for life camp uh chapter, which is the pro-life chapter we have. Um I'm an SGA, a senator for student government on campus. I'm the uh female captain for the hype squad with Turning Point, which is we're basically in charge of having the mosh pit at each conference. We get all the all the kids up at the front and we jump around and we're in all the pictures and stuff. Um and then I'm uh I just officially got um granted the opportunity to be a pro-life speaker for an organization called Leadership Institute. So now I'm able to travel to other college campuses and share my story. And so a lot of a lot of my life, I this is a hot take. I hate school. It's probably not a hot take. I think school is the dumbest thing ever. I'm I'm only doing my degree in order to do these other things that I get to do because I'm you know enrolled in classes. If those disappeared, I'd definitely drop out immediately. But with that being said, pursuing a political science bachelor's with a minor in mass communication. I want to go into politics. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if that's helping on campaigns or I'd love to be a pro-life lobbyist. Um, I don't know, I don't know where the Lord has me, um, which I love because so much of my life I spent planning, and now I just like like we talk about, I bust through doors until one gets shut. And so um that's kind of just what I'm doing right now. Definitely heavily involved with uh a lot of nonprofit like 501c3 politics, not the really red versus blue, but more of the the biblical and the cultural uh implications that we face and um the the pushing back on the false ideologies.
SPEAKER_04:So eyes on Jesus hand on the plow. Yep, and um I'm excited for that. I told you my my degree was a government degree. Yeah, so funny. Yeah, then I went into ministry. But uh so it's crazy. So Tucker was my son, um, Charlie Kirk was getting to go to Virginia Tech. Wow. I think he was two weeks, I think it was about two weeks till he was because he was when he got killed, he was just ramping up a tour.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, back tour.
SPEAKER_04:He was coming to Virginia Tech. Tuck was so excited. Um it's kind of crazy. So what this is uh off topic, this is how we'll end. What not off topic. With a little diversion, what is gonna happen with turning point? What's that gonna look like as far as leadership? Will it look the same moving forward, not having uh a person that's doing exactly what he's doing, or is there a succession to put someone else sort of in that role going to campuses, or will it become more what you're doing, just chapters from campus to campus?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I definitely have seen from a student perspective, there has been an uprise in conviction on campus. My group specifically, we're at a D1 school, but there weren't a lot of people that wanted to get involved. So we had about 15 active members, maybe 20 in our group chat. We now have 65 people in our group chat. And there has just, I mean, every time I refreshed our Instagram, we had another request, somebody asking how can I join? We raised over$2,000 from people locally who offered us money. We didn't even do a fundraiser. They just came up and either handed me a watt of cash or Venmoed me. And so now I've got to like create an LLC for all this money that we have that we've never had before. Everything was out of my pocket prior nationally. I mean, obviously, Erica has taken over. I trust that her um her relationship with Charlie, she knew what he wanted best. And I don't know if there will ever be somebody like Charlie. Um, I think he was a once once in a million. And I do know that people like Steven Crowder and um Ali Bestuckey and other people that are big names in kind of the Christian conservative politics area have made a declaration to do more campus tours. Um, as far as like the whole prove me wrong style, I don't know. That's his thing. Yeah, I don't know. I do know there are a lot of people my age that have just graduated that have started doing what he does. Well, they'll just go sit and they'll have a sign and we'll have conversations. We are gonna start doing that on our campus. Like I'll do a pro-life one. The guy next to me is a father, he'll do one about the nuclear family, and it won't be under the guise of turning point, but just kind of be like, you can't take all of us out. Like the phrase, we are all Charlie. Like, in a sense, we are all gonna pick up that mic that he dropped and move forward. Because if the most dangerous thing that you can do in this country is to sit across from somebody that you disagree with and have a conversation, everybody should be worried, not just conservatives, not just liberals. Everybody should be worried. And that is such a scary place for our nation to be in where we have where we have voices being silenced and words being considered hate speech. And so I think students left and right truthfully are waking up to that and being like, well, this whole like rah-rah against each other thing can't even take place if we silence the people who are in charge of these movements. And so I don't know if there will ever be somebody that can, you know, finish the job that he started, but I know that God's timing is intentional and Charlie's life has allowed the Lord to be glorified in ways that he would have never accomplished if he was still alive right now. And so it is a blessing to be able to see the immediate aftermath of all of the people that have felt like uh Ali Bestucky said an amazing thing on her podcast the other day. When people on the left have influencers who pass away, you see violence. But when people on the right, you see visuals. Yeah. And so it's a very, it's not even a left versus right, it's a light versus dark at this point. And we are a lot of people are waking up to the spiritual implications of these movements. And I'm just so thankful that Charlie was a believer and that he shared the gospel because that I think sucks. Speaks so much more volume than to any ideology that he was preaching. And the fact that Bible cells are up and church attendance is through the roof, and you have atheists and people who've never even considered the Lord saying, Well, clearly this guy was saying something that was so important they needed to take him out. Whoever they was, it doesn't matter. We know they were evil. And so I I'm encouraged by that. I don't know, I don't know what turning point looks like moving forward. I know they're still having their conferences. I know this December, it I was at the memorial, you know, and it it felt sad, but it was also extremely people were upset about the fireworks and the the speakers. And I'm like, you don't understand. This is what Charlie built. Like these are the people that walked by him this whole time. He would have everybody said he would have loved the sparkles. Like it that was just that's just who he was. Right. And so it is definitely nice to be able to, like I said, see the aftermath of the the lives that he has poured into. And then now for us to have that own personal conviction of why in the world am I silencing my spiritual beliefs in in a conversation with politics? Because that is the true reason why I vote the way I do and I believe what I believe. And so, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Man, it is interesting. Uh when this happened, no radio shack, no Nike outlet, no Apple store got looted. It's just reality. But when someone in in that radical progressive left movement gets quote unquote martyred or killed or whatever, or or persecuted, like it's burned the cities, you know. Yeah, yep. So it's interesting. Thanks. I love you a lot. So cool. I'm so thankful. For sure. It was good. Yes, so good. Praise the Lord.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, praise the Lord. All right.
SPEAKER_04:We're gonna get you back. We'll we'll probably have you back. That'd be awesome. Yeah.
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